All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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