we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
