I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize