Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
