My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
