I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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