very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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