Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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