yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
