Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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