she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize