Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
porn star boner night. come get it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize