How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
