Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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