My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
