Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
