So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
