I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
