I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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