you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
