are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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