even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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