Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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