I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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