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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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