Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize