we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
