I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
