I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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