SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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