I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
