are you still at the devil's house?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
