What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize