doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
