My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
