I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
