Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
