someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
