The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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