please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this boner is exhausting
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
