LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
