If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
