i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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