Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
