Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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