It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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