How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
