doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
