but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
