after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
