Well apparently he's into motor boating.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
