so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
