sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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