i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
