i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
