wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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