i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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