I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize