I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
