Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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