hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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