I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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