Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
