meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have demons in me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
