He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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