i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
