ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
